The Child-Marriage Saga: The Last Piece Of My Mind

By Milton Babajide Macaulay

Nigerians are not confused. They only want to know why such a clause has been in our constitution all this while. Taking advantage of the moment to trash out the lingering problem of child-marriage is a cause I am aware would better our nation, therefore, I strongly support the ‘ChildNotBride’ initiative. A lot of hullabaloo has been made by Nigerians over this issue whilst some religious fanatics have tried to turn it into a religious battle. However, this is the last piece of my mind on the child-marriage saga.

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You may ask why I have been so concerned about this issue. I guess it’s because I saw with my naked eyes while I served my nation in Kebbi State (North-western Nigeria) 2 years ago, the soul-shattering cases of “adolescent-mothers” lying in excruciating pain in hospitals as a result of all sorts of medical complications (with Vesicovaginal Fistula topping the list). There was a Girls’ Secondary School situated opposite my Place of Primary Assignment in Bunza, Kebbi State, where my roommate (during this period) taught ‘Government’. He narrated to me how these adolescent girls disappeared from the school the moment their fathers’ hand them over as child-brides to their friends or business partners.  He added that there was a time one of his students presented her wedding invitation card to him. He asked, ‘how old are you?’ and she replied, ‘14 years old’ ‘Although morphologically, her body was well-developed’, he admitted, ‘but mentally she was too young to make such a life-time decision’, he pointed out. After the wedding, she never returned to the school again. He later asked her school friends what had happened to her and they replied, ‘she’s at home helping her family now’. That was the end of education for that poor girl who could have lived her dream as a teacher or nurse and become a very useful tool for the development of her community.

Even the school principal (a learned Northern Muslim woman) complained about this but as expected, nothing was done by the leaders in the community to save the situation. They appeared to be unmoved and nonchalant but didn’t criticize the woman for going against any Islamic doctrines.  I was very impressed by the efforts of the principal who treated the students of her school like they were her own daughters. If the parents of the principal had married her off as a teenager without giving her the opportunity to learn and be educated, would she have become the principal of one of the largest Girls secondary schools in Kebbi State, contributing so much to the futures of young northern girls?

I decided to share these real-life stories because I have noticed how some people have kept yelling that child-marriage doesn’t mean the girl would not be given a pen or be educated. The reality before our eyes, tells us that MOST of the victims of child-marriage actually sacrifice education on the altar of marriage. It is important to note that my friend clearly stated that 95% of the students in the Girls’ secondary school were unmarried, which is self-evident that child-marriage often marks the end of education for the majority of the young girls living in Northern Nigeria.

It is true that ideally, child-marriages should not be consummated not until the bride is physically and mentally mature enough to face the rigour of childbirth, however, this does not happen in reality! In Northern Nigeria, child-marriages are consummated too early – even when the child-bride is just 10 or 12 years old. What about the decision of the child-bride herself? Doesn’t she have the right to choose whom she wishes to marry? Is marriage supposed to be a life-time of bondage? Those who think that parents want the best for their kids should think again!!! As we have loving and responsible parents, so we have callous and self-centred ones! Some child-marriages are solely organised to deliver the father from a mountain of debt. Others are organised to secure a business transaction like the child is collateral! Most are organised as a result of poverty, illiteracy and ignorance. Therefore, I can clearly say that it is very possible for some individuals to love a child more than the way the parents love that child. A good example is the principal of the Girls’ secondary school mentioned earlier.

Those who keep screaming continuously like a broken record that we should clamour for marriage and not fornication should for goodness sake get medication for their sentimental illnesses! WHEN DID FORNICATION EQUAL MARRIAGE?! Who in his right senses would encourage fornication or abortion? It is true that the global community is sex-crazed at the moment and both Christians and Muslims are doing everything possible to redeem the youths from the global menace of sex-enslavement. Therefore, it irritates me when I read comments from some religious fanatics who claim that Christianity encourages immorality. Haven’t you heard of Alhajis who are fond of running after female youth corpers serving in the North? Who doesn’t know that immorality knows no religious boundary? How angry do Muslims get whenever some people say Boko haram is an Islamic sect, yet some Muslims are now fast in associating Christianity with immorality? When are we going to learn that hasty generalization will land us in bigger troubles? What church have you seen distributing condoms to youths? Even till this day, there are churches that would not wed a pregnant bride because it is against their doctrines. This very simple and logical issue should not be manipulated into a religious tug of war. Okay what would you suggest Christians do to solve the problem of fornication or abortion? Should we begin to behead them one by one or cut off their private parts for sleeping around? I’m sorry to disappoint such fundamentalists but Christianity teaches forgiveness and free-will! The problem of sexual immorality is rooted in poor upbringing/parental care/guidance; therefore, it is not a simple issue that can be solved over the night. All we can do is to keep preaching the good news and hoping to save the few we can (who are willing to change because we do not believe in coercion).

Claiming that child-marriage would solve the problem of sexual immorality is like trying to convince me that a hurricane is better than a tornado! Any reasonable person should know that both have the potential to cause natural disasters!!! Hence, child-marriage as practiced in today’s world has only added to the world’s problems instead of reducing them. Yes, we may not be able to solve ALL the world’s problems BUT let’s stop adding to them! Senator Yerima who claimed publicly that he can give out his daughter at the age of 6 should be asked if any of his sisters were given out or even betrothed so early. His supporters should also be asked the same question. Funny enough, most of his supporters are southern Muslims who would NEVER give out their daughters so early because they are enlightened of the consequences of such actions; therefore, I wonder what they have to gain by fomenting so much disarray! Rather than tell the truth, they have decided to cling to religious sentiments which would further tear us apart if we are not careful. I’m tired of reading articles screaming out religious sentiments like one in which the author wrote, ‘what is your business if I give out my daughter at the age of 6?’ The writer forgets that we are ALL Nigerians and therefore, it is our business because his daughter is a Nigerian! I read in Premier Times today that the Senate President, David Mark, said, ‘Senator Yerima blackmailed other northern senators with religious sentiments’. He promised to revisit the issue for the sake of the common good of ALL Nigerians (irrespective of their tribe or religion). Therefore, we need to lay aside unnecessary sentiments if we truly appreciate the strength that lies in our diversity.

Considering the current state of the world and the moral decadence/social injustice which occurs daily, it is important for LAWs to be made to protect everyone when the situation demands it. For example, the United States made laws in the past for civilians to own a gun for personal protection but today, the law is being deliberated upon for changes due to the recent wide-spread indiscriminate use of guns by psychopaths which have led to the preventable deaths of both children and adults. Also, in our country, the current times have called upon us to revisit the section of the constitution that encourages child-marriage. As far as I know, my Muslim brothers have told me that the Quran doesn’t state explicitly that child-marriage MUST be practised which indicates that for the common good of all, bearing in mind the reality before us, we can decide to amend that section of the constitution that supports child-marriage in order to make the country a better place for ALL (be it in the South or in the North) of us including helpless innocent female children born into the hands of callous parents anywhere in the country! What ulterior motive is there to have over this matter? There’s none for crying out loud! In fact, most of us clamouring for the abolition of child-marriage will not be directly affected by it, but someone like me, who saw the appalling consequences of child-marriage in the North, will bask in the deep sense of fulfilment of having contributed his humble quota for the good of others. Therefore, let’s stop labelling our religions unprintable descriptions which would only divide us across religious lines and not help us as a nation.

This is the last piece of my mind on the raging debate on child-marriage. I can only hope that when the Senate reconvenes, our representatives will think more as Nigerians and not as a Christian or Muslim for posterity will judge all of our actions on this blessed day.